Golf Planet reviewer joins Press Team in Press vs Comedians Golf Day at Duddingston Golf Club

IMG_5653Golf Planet’s number one reviewer sinks another dagger into the heart of the onlooking Fred MacAulay.

Krammer & Holgate bt MacAulay & Barrie 3&2

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Gerry Howell – Seriousnessmus

gerry-howell-seriousnessmus_31020_thumbWhen Gerry Howell emerged onto the stage I was looking forward to hearing the comedy-staple “you’re probably thinking I look like a cross between…” gag – which could have easily been “Mark Roe and Rafael Jacquelin”.  Alas, Howell didn’t seem interested in comedy staples, or golf.

In a routine about bears, Jack Nicklaus ‘The Golden Bear’ was ignored completely.  Another opportunity came and went in a play about Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, which omitted the famous lunar golf shots.  Finally, a piece about hat doffing etiquette failed to mention its importance during the end of round handshake.  Remarkable oversights!  1 golf ball.

Reviewer – Harry HardonGolf-Ball-on-Tee

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Kunt & The Gang

kuntThe titular hero of the evening came onto the stage sporting an Augusta caddy’s boiler-suit, and as such had the many golf fans in the crowd on the edge of their seats in anticipation.

The first number of the show, “Paul Stevenson’s Party”, did contain a reference to a golf umbrella, however from this point onwards the show nose-dived into a series of completely non-golf related songs.  The one plus point was that the content was almost as sexist as the Royal & Ancient AGM.

2 golf balls.

Reviewer – Teabagger Vance

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Flange Krammer – Drei, Zwei, Eins.

drei-zwei-eins-mit-flange-krammer_30896_thumbHopes were high given that the star of this show is an international sportsman.  Especially so because his inspiration, Franz Klammer, is a regular on the pro-celebrity golf circuit.

We were not disappointed, as the warm-up guy kicked off proceedings with a wonderful joke about crazy golf.  Next was a special treat, as our only 5 golf ball rating recipient (to date), Paul F Taylor, made a brief cameo appearance.  Things got even better when the eponymous hero made his way onto the stage, and immediately regaled us with tales of his friendship with Tiger Woods.

You really would have to go a ‘fairway’ to find a better show than this.  5 golf balls.

Reviewer – Nick Dildo

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Malcolm Head – Poetic Justice

poetic-justice_32028_thumbHead made his way to the microphone looking snazzy in a red baseball cap obviously inspired by Ricky Fowler.  However, any comparisons with the cocky young American ended there, as Head was more jittery than Lee Westwood trying to sink a four-footer for par.

Things improved when Head recited some beat poetry, but to be honest there was nothing there that Peter Alliss couldn’t have come up with off the top of his head in the commentary box after a couple of whiskeys at lunchtime.

Things took an interesting turn when Head enlisted an audience member to help with a play about pensions, which to this reviewer seemed to be more about the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle in preparation for a second career on the Champions’ Tour.

Level par – 3 golf balls.

Reviewer – Gary Playa

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Sean Hughes – Penguins

sean-hughes-penguins_32598_thumbDressed all in black, Hughes deliberately evoked thoughts of the great Gary Player.  He also went on to outline his relationship with the British press, which was eerily similar to that of Nick Faldo.

A routine about a laughing Frenchman was clearly inspired by Jean van de Velde’s escapades at Carnoustie, and all the better for it.  However, Hughes kept getting side-tracked by completely un-golf-related stories about his youth, which frankly left a sour after-taste following the promising start.  2 golf balls.

Reviewer – Barry Vardon

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Paul F Taylor – The Greatest Show in the World Ever

paul-f-taylor-presents-the-greatest-show-in-the-world-ever_30967_thumbHaving made it to the halfway point of the festival, my overriding conclusion so far is that considering they are bringing comedy shows to the home of golf, it’s frankly astounding how little golf some of these comics are putting into their shows.

It looked like it was going to be another show of missed opportunities when Taylor did an extended piece about various birds.  He mentioned gulls, crows and geese, but steered clear of eagles and albatrosses.  However, my apprehension could not have been more misplaced, as a beautifully observed section about golf gloves got the show firmly back on track towards living up to its title.

This was just the start of it, as a crucial character in the show proved to be a ‘mystical guru’ figure who was clearly based on the world’s number one golf coach, Butch Harmon (apologies to all those Sean Foley fans out there).

The coup de grâce was applied with an amazing routine about ‘pitch & putt’ which had all the high-handicappers in the room chuckling with recognition.  It’s a bold title, but this show really does deliver.  Five golf balls!

Reviewer – Teabagger Vance

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