The Rubberbandits

rubberbandits_30329_thumbThe one saving grace for this show was the fact that it was DJ’d by Nicolas Colsaerts wearing a Sam Torrance mask.  Aside from that, there was absolutely no golf in the show whatsoever.  One golf ball.

Reviewer – Gary PlayaGolf-Ball-on-Tee

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Knightmare Live

knightmare-live_32595_thumbA live action version of the hit 80s and 90s kids TV show sounds straight-forward enough.  However, it soon becomes apparent that in this version, Lord Fear is actually John Paramor, and the Dungeoneer is Guan Tianlang, with Mark McCormack appearing as Treguard, trying to help guide the youngster through the minefield.

If the analogy wasn’t clear enough, (trying desperately to avoid spoilers) the solution to the first word puzzle is actually the name of one of the four Majors, one of the spells given to the dungeoneer relates specifically to the slow play debate, and the plucky contestant finally meets his maker at the hands of a type of golf club (not cavity-backed if you know what I mean).

Thoroughly enjoyable stuff, four golf balls.

Reviewer – Nick Dildo

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Get Involved – Charabang

get-involved-charabang_32614_thumbThings got off to an electric start as compere, Flange Krammer, began proceedings with a gag about Tiger Woods.  Unfortunately, the first act didn’t live up to expectations.  Howard Marks gave a 15 minute talk about a different type of green altogether.

The gig then went downhill faster than a putt on the 16th at Augusta.  The middle act was ‘Magical Bones’.  Of course, this reviewer (along with 90% of the audience) assumed that this was going to be a thought provoking spoken word piece from Phil Mickelson’s caddy, Jim ‘Bones’ Mackay.  In fact it was a breakdancing magician – a poor substitute.  The final act was a retro inspired five piece singing group – none of whom would be allowed into the clubhouse at Muirfield – the Tootsie Rollers.

2 golf balls, but could’ve been so much more.

Reviewer – Teabagger Vance

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Mat Ewins – Once Upon a Time in the Jest

mat-ewins-once-upon-a-time-in-the-jest_32710Any show that bills itself as a show about history, but fails to even touch upon Old Tom Morris, Young Tom Morris, Harry Vardon, Walter Hagen, Ben Hogan or even Jack Nicklaus is on a hiding to nothing.  In fact, one woman walked out in disgust when it became clear that Arnold Palmer had been overlooked.

There was a moment of hope near the end, when Ewins announced that we would finish the show by playing a 1992 computer game.  The crowd perked up, assuming that it would be the Megadrive classic, ‘PGA Pro Tour Golf II’.  The mood shifted slightly when Ewins said it would in fact be a Nintendo release, but the crowd were still happy enough that it would probably be ‘Greg Norman’s Golf Power’.  Things turned ugly when Ewins revealed it was neither, and I’m afraid a one golf ball rating is the inevitable consequence.

Reviewer – Gary PlayaGolf-Ball-on-Tee

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Tim Vine – Time Vine Chat Show

tim-vine-chat-show_31426_thumbI was extremely excited about this show because of the quote “Glorious golfing – 5 stars” on the poster.  However I quickly realised I had been misled, and the mystery was only solved when I re-examined the poster on the way out to discover it actually said “Glorious goofing”.  Absolutely no mention of golf in the entire hour – 1 golf ball.

Reviewer – Nick Dildo

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Greg Proops – Stand Up

greg-proops_32575_thumbIt came as a shock to be informed that this performance would actually be a recording of a podcast, and not the stand-up set we were expecting.  Not on really, and akin to advertising a tournament as strokeplay, when it’s actually matchplay.

There was a frisson of excitement in the room when the audience thought Proops was eulogising about South African Major winner, Louis Oosthuizen, only for it to fizzle out when it became clear that the subject was Robert Louis Stevenson.

A glaring missed opportunity came and went when Proops decided to talk about Kevin Kostner’s ‘Robin Hood Prince of Thieves’, when clearly ‘Tin Cup’ would’ve been a better choice.  Proops pandered to the crowd by criticising George Bush Snr, but he would do well to remember that the former President was an 11 handicap golfer in his prime, so not all bad.

However, Proops finished strongly by playing 1978 funk track ‘Dukie Stick’ – an ode to PGA Tour veteran Ken Duke’s putter, which he wielded to such devastating effect in the Travelers Championship at TPC River Highlands in June.  A clever move by an experienced performer, giving him a respectable rating of 3 golf balls.

Reviewer – Teabagger Vance

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Dayne Rathbone – It’s Me Dayne

it-s-me-dayne_31345_thumbDayne Rathbone’s reputation is very similar to Adam Scott’s – an Australian whose star is in the ascendance.  Unfortunately there was more than a hint of Scott’s caddy, Stevie Williams, about this performance.

A promising section where Rathbone read from a childrens’ book about a disfunctional father and son (a thinly veiled examination of Tiger Woods’ upbringing) descended rapidly into a karaoke style singalong which resembled the European Team Ryder Cup celebration party at Medinah.

Rathbone will no doubt divide opinion in much the same way as the belly putter debate, but as far as this reviewer is concerned it’s a disappointing one golf ball.

Reviewer – Gary Playa

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